Men of Courage by Larry Crabb
Net-out by Jess Martin
What is authentic manhood?
"The only way to be the man that you were designed to be is to first to be godly." pg. 38
"...think of masculinity as an energy, a natural movement within the heart of every man, a power and an urge to move into life in a particular way." pg. 49
"Every day, we move either toward godly manhood or away from it." pg. 57
Authentic men are: pg. 56-57
- Active: "involved in offering quality relationships to others"
- Gentle: "feels the sadness of living in a fallen world and the loneliness of living in imperfect community"
- Free: "No matter what happens in life, authentic men always find room to move."
- Purposeful: "moves according to a plan." and "knows what he's about and what he can contribute to the purpose for which he is living."
'a man is most authentically a man when he admits "I don't know what to do in this situation, but I know it's important that I get involved and do something. I will therefore envision what God may want to see happen in this person's life or in this circumstance, and I will move toward that vision with whatever wisdom and power God supplies me."' pg. 63
"godly men and women who possess and display a qualify of life that reflects the character of God, and that provokes curiosity in others about how they too can know God well." pg. 195
Recipe Theology versus Transcendent Theology
As men, we often retreat into the Sphere of Management - "wherever things are more or less predictable, where there is an order that can be understood well enough so that we can use it to make our lives work as we want." pg. 67
...as opposed to moving into the Sphere of Mystery - "wherever we are dealing with things that are finally unpredictable, where whatever order exists cannot be understood well enough to give us the control we desire." pg. 67
"The tendency of our culture is to define relationships, including our relationship with God, as a task and then to figure out how to go about making them work." pg. 67
Engaging with the God of the universe is a mystery. And realistically engaging with His creation is also a mysterious thing.
If we are honest, we would realize that we can't control our circumstances, we can't control other people, we can barely control our own selves, and that only by the grace of God.
What's Missing?
Spiritual Disciplines - No, there are no "formulas", but there are some best practices that we can follow. Prayer, fasting, scripture memorization, solitude, and other disciplines can help us be conformed to the character of Christ. We are not left without direction. In trying to free us from the false light of fail-proof formulas, he's failed to point us towards the life-giving lights revealed to us in scripture. Disciplines are not righteousness, they are wisdom. But none of that wisdom is shared here. What is the mentor's role but to point men in the path of wisdom?
- "a shift from depending on experts who know principles for effective living to pondering the wisdom of elders who know Christ." pg. 198
- "We use him to make ourselves feel better, to develop a plan for making life work, to keep hoping that we'll get everything we think we need to be happy." pg. 196
Examples of God's interaction with us - God does speak to us. We are designed to live in an interactive, conversational relationship with him. It's true that he leaves a tremendous number of things up to our discretion. But we can hear from Him, and we can trust Him to guide us.
- "He has asked the same questions and heard the same silence that enrages me." pg. 175
- "I now believe that he is there to be seen, that he wants to be seen, and that I will see him: perhaps, in this life, I won't see him fully, but maybe pretty close." pg. 223 (most hopeful passage)
Things I'm Not Sure About
Fathers and sons - how should they relate?
- Fathers should not always listen to their son
- "If he listens too long and gets too involved in his son's concerns, he will either offer too much help or become discouraged, cynical, or angry." pg. 178
- Sons should not share all secrets with their fathers
- "He doesn't share everything - some secrets are better shared with brothers" pg. 177